“the smaller the town, the bigger the prick.”
- my uncle the cop, on cops

i got a ticket over the weekend for inching around a vehicle that was turning left, at one of the two crossroads that make up a small, shitty town that will remain unnamed. just so everyone’s aware, it is illegal to drive on the shoulder in new york state. everywhere, technically. but particularly in towns where cops are bored. somehow, my karma remains in tact, for my uncle has nepotistically meddled in the affairs of said small town’s police force on my behalf. hallelujah. shall i celebrate by spending the $200 the ticket probably would have cost me?